Instructions on Knowing an Angel

1. Clean your soul of the darkness that has dwelled there in the past.
2. Improve or obtain some of the attributes that you would like to see in your life.
3. Pray that you will find her, and she will find you.
4. Ask all the girls you think maybe the angel on dates.
5. As you discover more about each of them, discover which one is most likely the angel
6. Start to focus all dating efforts on this girl.
7. Get to know her so well that there is no doubt that she is the angel
8. Fall in love with her
9. Sit in your car on a Sunday and realize how lucky you are, this will happen many nights so get ready cause it's overwhelming.
10. Be present with her always, treat her like the angel she is, love her for who she is.
11. Never lose her.

Feels Like I've Been Buried Alive.

bloop bloop

bloop bloop

bloop bloop

If you didn't already know that is the sound of my heart shoving blood through my veins, because right now they are wide open.

Like tunnels running underneath my dry earthy skin, it holds the secrets to life unknown.

The blood within them feeds my limbs so that I may act in kindness, but sometimes I betray their trust.

My heart, the center of it all feels happiness and sadness and this is how I know I'm alive.

I feel numb though now. Like I can't speak right. Like I've been buried alive.

Laying the Bricks

Bricks are the core of everything.

The building blocks that stacked upon eachother in the right way, can create something beautiful.

Bricks are the beginning, the end, and everything in between.

They built my fathers company from the ground up,

And built my family from broken to everything it is now.

The more bricks that have been laid down. 

The more tears will fall down when the walls are broken.

Just watch who you lay bricks with, because sometimes people will break big walls to easily.

Margret's Dare

She said I wouldn't do it. She said I wouldn't do it
Little did she know that I would, and I could.

In the rocky mountains of Colorado lives a boy who loves her.
I know this from the 3 a.m. talks I've had with him and the way he speaks her name.
She doesn't believe me though, because she loves him as well.
She won't admit it though because she doesn't want her heart torn to pieces.
But she doesn't know what will happen, and it looks like a bright future for her.

Sorry.

These Things Are How You Make Me Feel

these things are how you make me feel.

like a child lost in a storm, a storm of love that has never been experienced.
where smoke covers the earth and sometimes the night sky has no stars.
I search for the light, until I realize it's two feet in front of me.

these things are how you make me feel.

like a fire that burns in my heart and cleanses all the fear with its radiant heat.
The fire is calm and beautiful and runs through every fiber of my body when we're together.
It is the gasoline to my mind and my heart, assisting me in going only partially insane.

these things are how you make me feel.

like I've been kidnapped and thrown into a van thats filled with warmth and kisses.
Where I can shed my skin and be comfortable inside my own flesh.
Where my words can truly be listened to and thoughts interpreted,
and my soul can speak all it's feelings without a filter.

these things are how you make me feel.

like the first man on earth to finally find the end of the rainbow,
except I didn't find a pot of gold, but rather all the riches of the world.
I never knew life could get this good, feel this right, until now.

I love you,

J. Nemo

Small Thought

"Would you destroy something perfect

In order to make it beautiful"

 - My Chemical Romance 

The mountains are beautiful. Filled with faults, ridges, and broken trees, 

but they are still beautiful to drive through. They are where we connect with God. Where we can realize are potential for perfection.

Humane Realization

When he died, thats how I knew I was a human.

My whole life up until that point had been simple and my trials in the palm of my hands.

But not his, not his death.

When I first found out, I was sitting in church with my mind in and out of the lesson.

T-Tools leaned over to me and showed me a picture that someone had posted honoring his suicide.

At first I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe. 

His hair was too cool and his swagger to much to do such a thing.

But he did. 

He hung and he swung and he never came down, 

the only thing that went down were the marks on his neck from the clawing for breath.

I went home everyday the next two weeks 

and would cry myself until I fell asleep for my afternoon nap.

Addictions and wonder grew worse and the hole in my chest kept chewing away at my tissues increasing in circumference.

Why did you do it? 

What was going on? 

Did you think about your friends and family?

What about that math assignment due tomorrow?

Why didn't you leave anything for us to hold onto?

But then I realized he did. He left memories of smiles and awesome shirts. 

Memories of leather moccasin instragram posts and Thor dressed on halloween.

So many memories. I never got to tell you this Hunter, but you are missed

by more than just me. You taught me that life isn't just all happiness and that things can happen in instants that completely create your world or destroy it from the inside out. 

Your death taught me how to be human, and sometimes I'm ashamed of that.

But thank you for teaching me, you were a teacher from the skies.