Humane Realization

When he died, thats how I knew I was a human.

My whole life up until that point had been simple and my trials in the palm of my hands.

But not his, not his death.

When I first found out, I was sitting in church with my mind in and out of the lesson.

T-Tools leaned over to me and showed me a picture that someone had posted honoring his suicide.

At first I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe. 

His hair was too cool and his swagger to much to do such a thing.

But he did. 

He hung and he swung and he never came down, 

the only thing that went down were the marks on his neck from the clawing for breath.

I went home everyday the next two weeks 

and would cry myself until I fell asleep for my afternoon nap.

Addictions and wonder grew worse and the hole in my chest kept chewing away at my tissues increasing in circumference.

Why did you do it? 

What was going on? 

Did you think about your friends and family?

What about that math assignment due tomorrow?

Why didn't you leave anything for us to hold onto?

But then I realized he did. He left memories of smiles and awesome shirts. 

Memories of leather moccasin instragram posts and Thor dressed on halloween.

So many memories. I never got to tell you this Hunter, but you are missed

by more than just me. You taught me that life isn't just all happiness and that things can happen in instants that completely create your world or destroy it from the inside out. 

Your death taught me how to be human, and sometimes I'm ashamed of that.

But thank you for teaching me, you were a teacher from the skies.